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Strange how at times i feel like i'm nothing
and they're all running away from the sight of me.
And at other times it seems they want nothing but me in their mouths and think nothing of me but admiration.
It's dizzying, and i don't read it so well now that i'm falling for all these redheads. At least three of them at the moment.
And one blonde adonis. Well, they just disconcert me in the most lovely head-wrecking way. Delicious.
i would like to play with them all the time.
and they're all running away from the sight of me.
And at other times it seems they want nothing but me in their mouths and think nothing of me but admiration.
It's dizzying, and i don't read it so well now that i'm falling for all these redheads. At least three of them at the moment.
And one blonde adonis. Well, they just disconcert me in the most lovely head-wrecking way. Delicious.
i would like to play with them all the time.
boys and girls
A haiku:
Devious glinting
hadn't quite seen that before
let's do this again
a sort of poetry thing:
We met through an innocent kiss
We met again, not so innocent kissing a lot
We met again and we did more than kiss that time
We met again, social taboos broken and we were delighted with ourselves
We met again, and i put pretty bruises on his creamy pallid skin. We called it art.
We met again, more often, and got comfortable, started showing up places
We met again, and didn't feel like it that day, hey it happens
We met again, and he bared his teeth and tore into me, a devious glint in the eyes i hadn't seen quite like that
We met
Devious Journal Entry
Oh i am a sullen boy.
and must be taken in doses, little infusions
in the end, i feel my absence is the most considerate
strolling somewhere late night,
streetlights feign sleep at my passing,
as if to confer the mantle of night on my shoulders
better than the lurid light of man's artifice
his belief that safety is in illumination
the hunters that lie in wait for prey to be caught in the light
far more savage than we who silently traverse the darkness
and woe to they who speak ill to the night walker
and woe to he who dares raise his hand to strike
a shadow
then finds the cold shroud of space around his throat
the void knows
glittering shards
Broken boys
i could stitch you back together
and i would bleed out to supply a transfusion
hell, i've been bleeding, paying, suffering in silence all my life
it's what i do when i care
i feel selfish when i even consider asking for a space in you
to be rocked and snuggled when i am rent apart
i feel like it's rude to let anyone see me this way
i should be silent and not shatter at anyone's feet.
i come with long disclaimers
enter at your own risk
"abandon all hope all ye who enter here"
i'm crazy. i'm broken.
but my heart is strong and unashamed
i can be refuge
i've no refuge to flee to
And if i did, wouldn't i just run aw
Well, fuck.
everything hurts again today.
i keep thinking i've gotten it under control,
that my art is a healthy outlet. No. It hurts all the fucking time.
i can't even put it into poetry, musik, or some pretty prose.
Just oh my god please make it stop.
Except...i wouldn't have it any other way.
Just because i forgot to shut my empathy off
because i was so relaxed
Made me remember all the bullshit i've had a handle on for so long
i was doing well, i thought
and it's been slipping
i once defied the idea that i needed someone in this boat with me to talk to
but then i admitted it finally
that's when they all started jumping ship
lucky
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